


The Oldest Swinger In Town

by Cerdic519



Series: Name That Tune [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Embarrassed Dean Winchester, F/M, Flirting, Harvelle's Roadhouse, Karaoke, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Panties, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 14:18:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13836534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: A short fic to mark Jensen's xxth birthday. Fred Wedlock's tribute to a man's golden years, which I turned into a Destiel fic. Because.





	The Oldest Swinger In Town

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Guuurrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guuurrrl/gifts), [Freckles65497](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckles65497/gifts), [DestielIsMyDaddy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielIsMyDaddy/gifts).



Dean slid easily into the table and only slowly became aware that a moose and a moosette were both staring at him.

“Well?” Sarah demanded.

“Well what?” Dean said.

“Don't come the innocent with us!" Sam said wrapping an arm around his wife. “Has Cas forgiven you yet?”

Dean scoffed at his brother.

“As if Cas would be offended by me smiling the once at some flirty waitress!” he said dismissively.

Sam and Sarah stared at each other and (rather creepily in Dean's opinion) managed synchronized sighs.

“You didn't tell him”, Sam said heavily. “Oh boy, are you in for it when he finds out!”

“Cas isn't the vengeful sort, is he?” his wife asked. Sam snorted.

“The last time Dean did something dumb, Cas made him work at the animal sanctuary for two weeks.”

Dean blushed at the memory. The day after their last anniversary and he'd made the small, insignificant, tiny little mistake of smiling at one checkout girl – one dammit, and she'd flirted with him first! Luckily Sam didn't know the half of it; Cas had not only withheld all sex but had not even allowed Dean to jerk off during that terrible time. And the sex that had ended it...... he'd needed a day off work to fully recover because his butt had been so sore even his best green silk panties had.....

“Dean!”

Sam glared at his brother.

“What can I say?” Dean grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “I'm irresistible!”

The sudden flashing of lights alerted them to the start of Karaoke Night and Ellen came out to welcome everyone. Dean did not pay much attention – until he realized that the first act was someone horribly familiar. A certain professor who had said that he had Plans for tonight.....

Dean suddenly felt uneasy. The song started:

_When you score with a mark in a disco bar,_  
_Take them home in your big black car,_  
_Then you find you went to school with their Ma and Pa,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

Dammit he had Jo, Charlie, Dorothy and Pamela as his backing group – and the cows were wearing lettered t-shirts with 'D', 'E', 'A' and 'N' on them! Several of the regulars were already sniggering, the bastards. Dean stared angrily at the table.

_When you won't look in a mirror in the light of day,_  
_Swear you dyed it when your hair turns grey,_  
_When you zip up your jeans and your belly's in the way,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

_Here you come, and there you go,_  
_Blasting the 'hood with your stereo,_  
_But the engine's clapped - and the driver also!_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

Those blue eyes were looking straight at Dean as he sung. Unfortunately there was no room under the table and a certain moose and moosette were already laughing fit to burst. Dammit!

_When your barber takes a little less time each week,_  
_The kids don't understand a word you speak,_  
_When you walk into the disco and they offer you a seat,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

_You prefer a Coors Lite to Bacardi and coke,_  
_The songs are too loud and there's too much smoke,_  
_You'd like another dance but you're scared you'll have a stroke,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

_Here you come, plaid shirts you wear,_  
_A little gold am'let and a lot of gold hair,_  
_Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

Everyone in the bar was laughing now. Dean silently wished he could disappear. Some blue-eyed person was definitely not getting laid tonight!

Did that include doing any laying, his unhelpful conscience added. He ignored it as Cas shifted up a key:

_When you're feeling as stiff as an iron rack,_  
_Rub on Vic where you once used Axe Black,_  
_And the kids say your fashion sense is light-years back,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

_When you have to go shopping for your sex-appeal,_  
_Ray-Ban shades on a two-for-one deal,_  
_You say a man is just as old as the one he can feel,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

_Here you come with your lips closed tight,_  
_You never smile, you know it wouldn't look right,_  
_'Cause your dentures glow in ultra-violet light,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town..._

As the backing group of his shortly to be ex-friends echoed the chorus Dean looked hopefully at the doorway. A clear run.....

_And you look so mean 'cause your pants are too tight,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town...._

There were _not_ too tight, dammit! That was what elastic waistbands were for!

_And tonight we'll do the once what you used to do all night,_  
_You're the oldest swinger in town!_

Dean stopped mid-angst. _They would?_

Cas looked at him and nodded, then leaned forward to replace the microphone. There was the briefest possible flash of green lace.

“Totally whipped!” Sam muttered. Dean just gave him the finger.

Cas looked across the room then started towards him, a predatory look on his face. Dean quickly texted Bobby and asked for Monday off..... and he might be late in on Tuesday come to that!

+~+~+

He was!


End file.
